The Many Facets Of Love

I want to talk about love today. I mean the word “love” in the Khmer language as well as all stages of love according to Khmer tradition. I’ve mentioned before on this page that Khmer society is hierarchical. Social relationships are based on rankings. Within the family unit, rankings are based on birth order. Outside of families, social rankings are based on a variety of factors such as religious piety, age, profession, gender and education. As such, the Khmer language (both written and spoken) reflects these hierarchies. Some words one uses to communicate with a friend are totally different from the words one uses to communicate with a monk, a royal, a senior citizen, or a kid. There are nearly ten different words for I. I’m not even sure I know all the Khmer words for eat. There’re just so many of them. Two different words for uncle, two for aunt, a handful for smell. As a result, the Khmer lexicon is very extensive. On top of that, Khmer is heavily influenced by Sanskrit, which arrived on mainland Southeast Asia along with Hinduism around the 5th century BC. The Sanskrit influence is found in the religious, law, military, science, and royal registers. Having said that, the majority of Sanskrit borrowings are more of a style rather than a necessity. This also applies to Pali, the language of Theravada Buddhism, which came into contact with the Khmer language in the late 14th century. After the mid-19th century, the French influence on the language emerged as well. So you can imagine how bloated the modern Khmer language has become. 

Now let’s get back to love. Surprisingly, there is only one native Khmer word for love, and it’s sralanh.

The word sralanh is generally used more as a verb. 

Khn’om sralanh nak            =          I love you (gender-neutral)

Khn’om sralanh oun/bong sralanh oun           =          I love you (male to female)

Khn’om sralanh bong/oun sralanh bong =          I love you (female to male)

Using it as a noun, sralanh needs a pragmatic particle 

Sechakdei​ sralanh          =       love

Sechakdai sralanh rr’bas khn’om thom cheang chakravar            =      my love is bigger than the universe

Sechakdai sralanh is seldom used in spoken Khmer, instead we use sneah/sneaha to mean love. In both spoken and written form, sneah/sneaha and sechakdai sneah/sneaha can be both used as a noun.

Sneah/sneaha comes from the Sanskrit sneha which means maternal love or affection. In Khmer, sneaha denotes all kinds of love, be it maternal or romantic love.

Sneaha/sechakdai sneah =          love

Roueng sneaha    =       love/romantic affair, love story          

Sneaha yeung          =          our love

Next word is kama, from Kamadeva, the God of Love. Just like the sages of ancient India, in past times, Khmers viewed kama as the first stage of love. Kama means passion or pleasure of the senses, but not necessary of a sexual kind. Overtimes kama has become known as sexual desire. In modern Khmer, kama is mostly used in lyrics, songs and other written literature. 

Kama without true intimacy can leave most of us feeling empty. Emotional connection is needed. To build that connection, sharing of feelings and affections are a must. The result is sanchetna. Sanchetna is what we call romance. It is the next stage of love. From the Sanskrit shringara, sanchetna is the feeling of attraction we get from kama. Modern Khmers use mnosanchetna to denote both romance and sentimental, with mno coming from the Greek by way of French.  

Third is motherly love, maitri, from the Sanskrit maitri. This is compassion for all living beings. A simple kindness toward your neighbor, or charity to a children’s shelter. This is the most selfless form of love. In modern Khmer, maitri means a crush. There is, however, another word derived from maitri that still retains its original meaning. It’s meata. 

The fourth stage is beyond interpersonal love. This is the love of Gods, bhakti. In Khmer, bhakti can be found only in religious liturgy. 

The last stage of love, according to Hindu tradition, is atma prema, self love. In Khmer tradition, the concept of self love is not something we are familiar with. 

Here are a few more native Khmer words and phrases used in association with love

Saamnoup   =          within embrace 

Chet            =          feeling 

Ey = a positive aspirate sound

Saamnoup chet = love 

Saamnoup chet ey/saamnoup chet khn’om ey = my love 

saamnoup chet khn’om = my love 

Prolung     =          soul, essence 

Prolung ey = my love, sweetheart (as an endearment)

There are many more words and phrases dotted all over the contemporary Khmer lexicon. Khmer lyrics and songs are a great way to learn them.